Note to Dental Hygienist

Dear Hygienist from the pediatric dental office,

I want to start off by apologizing. My son did not mean to scare the little girl in the next exam room by screaming "it hurts!" at the top of his lungs when you tried to put the earphones on him. No, it did not hurt him, but he obviously knows what will get his mother's swift attention in any other situation (and believe you, me, that he never fails to use it on anybody).

I hope your leg is feeling better. I'm sure he meant no harm when he kicked your knee twice...or when he kicked your upper-thigh region. But if i'm being honest, I'd have to say that standing parallel to his un-restrained legs while trying to pry his mouth open was not a great idea.

I hope you didn't take offense when he tried to stare you down for ten minutes straight. He does that when he gets angry. And as you witnessed, no amount of cajoling can make him stop until he wants to. We call it the "mad dawg" look, and it knows no rival. We're currently working on a cure.

I want to thank you for being so understanding. It takes a strong person (or a severely deaf person, take your pick) to sit through ten minutes of a toddler's tantrum. I'm sure the entire office heard him yelling and screaming when he wanted to play with the very antique, and very breakable train. Thanks for not judging me by the actions of my son. I swear he isn't normally like that...just when it comes to trains.

Oh, and my favorite part of the day was when you answered the Dentist's question for me. Remember? Dr. Howell came in and started asking me questions. You know, the routine questions like: What are your concerns about your child's teeth? How often do you brush his teeth? Are you going to commit to a life change, in the hopes that you can prevent any decay, whatsoever, of your son's teeth, thereby not making me think of you as a bad parent? (Okay, so that last question was a bit of a stretch)

When he asked, "Is your son strong willed?" and you answered emphatically, "Ohhh, yes!"

That was when I knew we had made an impression on you.

Just take heart in the fact that he's not due back for six whole months.

And I'm boasting a cavity-free, decay-free, son. Lucky kid...

Thanks again,


  1. Omg LOL you absolutely had me falling off my chair.Your "Monkey "must be a spirited child :)

  2. LOL...that's hysterical, Penelope :) I remember those days with mine too...LOL
    Have a Great Day!

  3. Ha ha ha! I incidentally had a very similar experience...mine involved lots of blood though...with the same dentist. I love how their website boasts "having a positive experience". I doubt I'll EVER get Brooklynn back through the front door of a dental office again! (See my post in December 2008) They suggested we schedule a few "happy visits" before we come in again for another routine check-up. Tell Monkey I love him!

  4. Oh, and I got my book the other day!! Thanks!

  5. That is so funny. I remember the days.....

  6. That was a hilarious story, Penelope! I have to say I don't like dentists either. :)

  7. LOL, oh my! After having a child, I certainly can understand a parent's perspective. I used to be the sales clerk/teacher/etc. who rolled her eyes at such behavior, or said the parents didn't control their kids. Now I know it's just not the case! My son can be difficult, and he's only a year old. I cringe about what will happen as he gets older.


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